Many in churches today are facing the same heart-wrenching experience my wife, Ann Marie, and I had—feeling deeply the call of God to grow our family, yet unable to do so naturally. Many, if not most, of these couples’ friends don’t know of their struggles. The infertile couples are the long-sufferers, silent, sometimes feeling shame. They’re pained wives on Mother’s Days, unable to rise when pastors call moms to stand and be recognized. They’re hurt husbands, wincing with each friend’s declaration, “We’re pregnant and didn’t really want to be.” It seems so easy for some. But for others, it’s a journey filled with deep hope and searing pain, at times surrounded by unhelpful friends and overbearing relatives.
As with all Christians, we must navigate all aspects of life through the lens of the Bible and be guided by the Holy Spirit. Our desire to grow our family and our infertility journey was no different. God had an answer for us, but we wouldn’t know it for some time. In fact, Ann Marie and I didn’t know God had begun our family before she and I had met. We wouldn’t discover this for many years.
If you’d asked us then, we would have said our journey began after meeting in 2004 and continued when we married seven months later in 2005. I’d been serving in the military for many years at that point, a major in the Air Force, and soon after marriage, we found ourselves moving to serve at the U.S. Embassy in Israel. A war greeted us when we arrived in 2006, what became known as the Second Lebanon War. That began an intensely busy four-year assignment for both of us, but we loved being newlyweds and cherished the adventure of living overseas.
Both in our 30s, our “Plan A” was to wait for two years before having kids, then we’d begin the process. After having our own kids naturally, we intended to adopt and add children in need of a home. We started a little earlier than planned, and after six months, no children came. At this point, we went to a specialist since we were in “advanced years” (35 for Ann Marie, and 37 for me at this point), whereas younger couples would have to wait a full year to be declared infertile. Israel had some of the best infertility specialists in the world, and we soon found out we both had issues. I had poor morphology, and she had endometriosis. It wasn’t impossible to have kids, but we’d need help. “Plan A” was not going to happen.
The Infertility Promised Land
We prayed about it and remained certain the desire for children had come from God. We pleaded for him to grant us children. We talked with our Israeli specialist, hopeful he could guide us to the promised land. And we cried, seeing friends and family around us getting pregnant with ease, oblivious to our own struggle.
The doctor offered choices, and Ann Marie and I knew we needed to go through these prayerfully and informed. We read books and articles about these options, about life, about decisions we would need to make. To us, this wasn’t about statistical choices; it was about growing our family as God wanted.
We chose IUI (intrauterine insemination),[1] but after multiple attempts, we had no children. The cycle of hope and attempt and failure never abated the pain, no matter how many times we tried. And God never removed the desire, which left us hurting and confused. We wondered, why implant the desire without giving us the answer to our desire?
We studied more, prayed more, and sought more counsel. We decided to pursue conventional in vitro fertilization (IVF),[2] approaching it deliberately. We knew this could result in an overabundance of embryos, and we knew we would never destroy or dispose of them. We were responsible for each life we created. We directed our doctor to extract only two or three eggs, to fertilize only a few, and to transfer them all. We also required no genetic testing, nothing that could jeopardize their lives.
We trusted God had a plan. We prayed and specifically asked God that if this was not what he wanted from us, no eggs would be fertilized. God went a step further; he didn’t allow a single egg to be produced. The concoction of hormone medications created a false menopause in Ann Marie, something the doctor said he’d not seen before.
When the doctor explained we’d not be able to conceive, the Holy Spirit filled Ann Marie with peace, a peace that passes understanding, a peace that comes not from your circumstances, but despite them. God told us right then we were to embryo adopt.
The Adoption Road
Following the common recommendation of infertility specialists often results in more embryos created in the process than are transferred. This leads to an abundance of frozen embryos in America. Estimates vary widely, but it’s believed as many as a million to a million and a half embryos are frozen throughout the U.S. Only a few options exist for these little ones: (1) they can be discarded (which will kill them); (2) they can be donated to scientific research (which also kills them); (3) they can be transferred to the couple who created them; or (4) they can be adopted or donated to others, with adoption typically providing an added level of vetting and scrutiny than donation.
In July 2025, Thaddeus Daniel Pierce was born, the longest frozen embryo in history. Created in 1994, Thaddeus had been frozen over 30 years before being adopted, transferred, and born. The reality is, we don’t know how long these little ones can remain frozen; however, it is not permanently. While the freezing process slows the embryo’s natural biological step of continuing its development, it does not permanently suspend it. In essence, the clock is ticking, slowly, when these young lives will expire and die. That is, unless something is done to intervene.
On our journey, we paired with Nightlight Christian Adoptions, and God had to resolve many details—getting criminal and financial background checks and getting a certified social worker to do a home study—all while stationed abroad. He answered each challenge, revealing this was indeed his plan for us.
Soon after Nightlight placed our profile, a family selected us. At this point, we’d been stationed back in the U.S., and the infertility specialists at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, helped us with shots and tests. After some time, a family in Georgia selected us, and we adopted all their embryos, twenty of them (a number far higher than normal).
We specified no genetic testing of the embryos, a procedure commonly offered. In our estimate, each of these little ones was valuable, an image bearer of God, and no genetic finding would change our view on the importance of their lives and our desire to help them be born. In addition, genetic testing had the potential to damage or destroy the embryos.
The day finally arrived, and the doctor thawed the first two embryos. They both survived. He then transferred those two, and they both implanted. Thirty-nine weeks later, our twin boys were born on Mother’s Day. John Jackson Yocum (who goes by Jackson) and Cade Alan Yocum (who goes by Cade).
God’s Plan
Our family had indeed begun before Ann Marie and I had met. Given how long they’d been frozen (eight years) and the time in the womb, we discovered our twins were created before we knew each other.
God orchestrated our entire family. He led me to Ann Marie. He led us through our infertility. He led us to Nightlight Christian Adoptions. He led this family to choose us. And he led these little ones into our care.
Our “Plan A”—to have our own kids first—followed by “Plan B”—to adopt kids after—was never his plan at all. From before we knew each other, God intended Ann Marie and I to meet, marry, and be the parents to these two amazing boys. His plan was perfect all along.
As for the remaining eighteen embryos we’d adopted, we were committed to every one of them and bringing them into our family. Each workup for a transfer had all the right conditions for a successful transfer and pregnancy, including hormone levels, endometrial lining, and bloodwork. For almost a decade we tried. Some did not survive the thaw. Some did survive but failed to implant after the transfer. And one young one survived but died early in the second trimester during the pregnancy. Each time, God reminded us we were his vessel either to bring these little ones into our home or to be home with him. We await the day we can greet them all.
Our two boys know their story. They understand they were preserved all those years, given into our care, and now serve some larger purpose God has for them. They recognize their very lives are a testament to the gift of life and those committed to it. Understanding they had survived and God placed them into our family, late one night they asked us to pray that God would show what his purpose is for them on this Earth.
A Call to Christ’s Church
Adopted children on earth become an example of how God brought all his children into his family, the church. Ephesians 1:5–6 says, “In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved” (ESV). And in Romans 8:15–16, “you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’ The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ.” Adopting children, either through traditional post-birth or through embryo adoption, powerfully testifies to our own spiritual adoption.
Others may be starting their journey or may be well along the path. Ann Marie and I learned many things along the way, considerations most doctors never provide.[3] As you travel this path, you will have to navigate advice, counsel, articles, podcasts, friends, relatives, and doctors. As believers in Christ, you must go through this in prayer, guided by the Bible and directed by the Holy Spirit.
We know that God calls believers to care for widows and orphans as “religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father” (Jas 1:27). Just as with traditional post-birth adoption, regardless of the circumstances of how they were created and regardless of the circumstances that led to their genetic parents freezing and not transferring them to themselves, these little lives need a home and a family to take them, care for them, love them, and raise them. If we do not, we condemn them to die alone.
These frozen orphans need Christian married couples to exhibit “religion that is pure and undefiled” and be willing to go through this journey to save these little ones. The sacrifice and cost are worth it if it means saving even one life and providing them a home. Jesus was our sacrifice—with his very life—to adopt us into his family. We have him as our model.
References
[1] The goal of intrauterine insemination is “to improve the chances of fertilization by increasing the number of healthy sperm that reach the fallopian tubes when the individual is most fertile.” “Infertility Services: Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) Treatment,” Johns Hopkins Medicine, accessed June 9, 2026, https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/gynecology-obstetrics/specialty-areas/fertility-center/infertility-services/intrauterine-insemination. With IUI, a series of carefully timed and sequenced hormones and other preparations are made prior to the procedure, and then the clinic conducts a procedure that places the husband’s sperm directly into his wife’s uterus using a small catheter. When complete, the process proceeds along the natural path, where it may be that an egg is fertilized and an embryo results, or it may not. Usually, it will take two weeks for a subsequent pregnancy test to determine if a pregnancy results from the IUI procedure.
[2] There are multiple types of IVF, and some express concern at the over-creation of embryos, with many discarded or destroyed in the process. Considered a more ethical option to conventional IVF is “mini-IVF,” which is “also referred to as minimal stimulation, low-dose, micro, mild, or ‘gentle’ IVF, a less aggressive approach than conventional IVF. It involves using lower doses of the injectable medications used in a conventional IVF cycle, or using less powerful oral medications (such as Clomid or Letrozole). As a result, the benefits of this method include a less intense medication protocol and almost no risk of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS).” Alexander Kucherov, “Mini IVF: How It Works, Success Rates, Pros & Cons & Treatment Costs,” Illume Fertility, updated April 24, 2026, https://www.illumefertility.com/fertility-blog/mini-ivf-cost-success-rates.
[3] The following are a list of resources we found helpful in our journey towards embryo adoption as well as a guidebook we’ve created for couples exploring it:
- Arbo, Matthew. Walking Through Infertility: Biblical, Theological, and Moral Counsel for Those Who Are Struggling. Crossway, 2018.
- George, Robert P. and Christopher Tollefsen. Embryo: A Defense of Human Life. Doubleday, Random House, 2008.
- Glahn, Sandra L. and William R. Cutrer. The Infertility Companion: Hope and Help for Couples Facing Infertility. Zondervan, 2004.
- Grudem, Wayne. What the Bible Says About: Birth Control, Infertility, Reproductive Technology, and Adoption. Crossway, 2021.
- Klusendorf, Scott. The Case for Life: Equipping Christians to Engage the Culture, 2nd Crossway, 2023.
- Quillet, Cathie and Shannon Sutherland. Not Pregnant: A Companion for the Emotional Journey of Infertility. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2016.
- Yocum, Matt & Ann Marie. Couples Infertility Support Guidebook: Navigating Infertility Through a Biblical Worldview. Vigil Press, 2026.